Stop staring backwards

I'm out of the city.
I have everything but money and a job.
Everything to make me happy really
other than an interesting job and money.
They wouldn't make me happy either.
Why can't I feel the happiness?
Christmas Eve. Midnight Mass.
Family tomorrow.
Amazing dinner tonight.
Beautiful apartment.
Wonderful partner.
Depression.
Really?
Really.
Exercise maybe?
Less alcohol maybe?
Focus and discipline maybe?
Choosing hope maybe?
Choosing smile maybe?
Amazing.
Poor little rich boy.
Tons of snow out the window.
A beautiful mountain.
A beautiful river.
Depression, really?
Why?
I don't get it.
But....
Keep on going.
Focus on self again.
Take care of self again.
So fortunate.
Realize it.
So often only realize how fortunate
by looking back.
Romanticizing the past
as if life is over.
Great memories.
But more to make no?
SO MANY great memories!
But more to make no?
Dinner time
Filet mignon. Shrimp scampi.
Baked potato. Asparagus
Proseco. Great company
Great music.
Depression, REALLY?
GET A GRIP!
GET OVER YOURSELF!
EGO! Let go of EGO!
Merry Christmas JEW!